An open letter to the fashion victims.
This is not a message to the uniform fetishists. I do understand all of that. It’s not my cup of tea, but your love of stylish Hugo Boss stuff is somewhat understandable. That’s all sexy. We are friends.
This is a message to people trying to make their band to appear more “industrial” by wearing a used german uniform. Since I very recently even saw the insignia of my former unit on one of them I’d like to adress these numerous people with an open letter.
Dear German crumpled uniform fashion victims,
when I was in military service I worked at the 1st Wachbataillon BMVg. While this was interesting and shouting stuff in Latin felt really fancy, I was happy laying of that uniform again. In context of some promo material I got on my desk I would like to declare:
Wearing this Uniform in such a devastating state like most of you do would likely put you in the brig in real life. People from the the 2nd to 6th of Bataillon are likely to laugh at you and will call you names. Maybe that will make you feel bad and you will need to cry a little.
Wearing a used german uniform itself is NOT an art project, even though it can look amazingly stupid on you. It’s not even controversial or anything as such, because it is fucking boring. Since every fucking Punk from the eighties was more creative on this, than combining uniform parts with black eyeliner or whatever gofff stigma is of your preference, it is boring. With at least 4 “o”s.
Wearing a used german uniform is not industrial. Industrial is not what you wear, it’s about what you do and express. Since what you do and express with that is fucking boooooring it can not be industrial.
As a forward thinker I’d like to offer bands that think they can promote themselves by wearing used German uniforms free consulting at Mera Luna on this weekend. I also offer free cream stuffed cake. In your face.